January 1, 2010

From Chaos

The great guest room/studio transformation of 2010 has begun. The bed we donated was picked up yesterday, making it easier to empty the rest of the room. There was more stuff in there than I’d realized. I’m apparently very good at stashing things away. Now that it’s mostly empty we my husband will paint the room a delicious color that will (hopefully) inspire me to be terribly creative.

In the meantime, my books, pictures, and boxes of I-don’t-know-what are shoved into the guest bathroom. It gives me the perfect opportunity to sort through it all when I move everything back.

It’s the beginning of a new year and the perfect time to let go of that which no longer serves me well. That’s my theme for this year, letting go. I’m not one to make resolutions, but this morning, while I was showering, I realized that I’ve let myself get pulled into other people’s drama too often, letting it color my happiness with worry and anxiety. Last year saw me get in over my head caring for other people. That’s no way to live.

I won’t say it won’t ever happen again –  that's setting myself up for failure  – but I’ll work very carefully to make sure I keep my feet planted in my own life. How I go about doing that is going to be a work in progress. While it will surely include exercise and making time to play, it will also mean asking myself how a thought or feeling or situation serves me. Can I really make a difference or am I just driving myself into the ground? It’s kind of a big life lesson.

So this year begins with sorting and choosing; what to keep, what to let go, asking how it contributes to my quality of life. Who knew such soul-searching could come from moving furniture?


Christine said...

I like the way you write!
Very well said.
Isn't funny when we get "hit" with an idea? The shower seems the best place for many ideas.

Bella Rum said...

I identify with this post so very much. As you know, I spent the last half of 2009 letting go. You and I have found it necessary to work through some difficult choices. I know it hasn't been easy for you. Letting go and balance; that's the key. I really believe that.

I love that question you're asking yourself - "Can I really make a difference or am I just driving myself into the ground?" I'm going to remember that.

Wonderful post, Cara. Let us know what color you choose for your walls.

daisies said...

letting go ... yes! i started the purge back in september and i feel so clear these days, its a good thing :-)

Becca said...

It's amazing what you appears behind all that clutter, isn't it?

It's good to clear things away and get a fresh start.